Spider Saves Marriage


Just when you’ve had it up to here…. The Spider Shows Up

Silly rubber spider to you….  29 years of practical joking to us!!

The rules: 1. Hide it somewhere that your spouse will eventually find it.  2. Forget about it.

Today was the first cold day here in Montana.  It’s in the low 40’s and I knew that my outfit for the day would include my brown tights (because I wanted to wear my favorite dress for fall and favorite brown boots!)  I haven’t seen my tights since I put them away last April when the weather started to warm up.  I was in a hurry to get dressed and out the door because I had a meeting to attend.  I reached into my drawer and found my brown tights, and pulled them out and EEK!   I startle, I chuckle, I call out to tell my husband that he did a good job….  yep, it’s the Creepy Rubber Spider who’s been hidden away for five months. He’d forgotten all about it and asked where I found the spider….

I can’t even remember how the spider started making appearances.  Since it’s my blog, I will say that I started it!  The spider has been all over the world, on planes, ships, trains…  He’s been in drawers, at the foot of the bed under the covers, in pockets, hats, kitchen cabinets, it’s been stashed about any place you can imagine…  Sometimes I don’t see it for months or years.

My best hide, or at least one of them…. was during one of Aldo’s Change of Command ceremonies in the Navy.  Picture this:  the invitations have been sent, the hanger has been cleaned, the planning in process for months, the squadron dressed in their finest – all shiny and pressed, the flowers, the soloist, the guest speaker,  the awards…  and my Husband, Aldo Kuntz is ready to assume command of The Navy’s Finest A-6 squadron, VA-115  – forward deployed in Atsugi, Japan.

Just as he’s getting ready to leave our house for the ceremony, I sneak the Creepy Rubber Spider into the pocket of his Dress Blue Uniform.  I pray that he doesn’t put his hands in the pocket until he’s on the podium — just for extra impact!  As with rule #2, I forget about it — Hey, I’ve got three children to get ready, we have both sets of our parents visiting us in Japan and other guests who have flown in for the ceremony and all the parties!!

The ceremony begins.  We’re escorted to our seats, the band is playing something extremely patriotic.  I’m so appreciative of everyone being at the ceremony to honor the men and women of VA-115, and, as usual a little teary eyed when I think about the continual sacrifices made by those men and women who serve our great nation.  It’s a ceremony filled with tradition, speeches, awards and the actual “Changing of Command.”

Then it happens…. Aldo is on the stage, I’m sitting in the first row (totally have forgotten about the spider) and he reaches into his pocket to retrieve something, only to feel something cold and rubbery…  I notice that he’s discovered something in his pocket, he smiles and gives me “The ‘I will get you back’ eye” and pulls his hand out of his pocket, leaving the Creepy Rubber Spider in it’s hiding place!  SUCCESS!  Just enough satisfaction to know that I managed to surprise him with that silly spider!!

You know, it’s really not about the spider saving a marriage – it’s about fun and making fun of ourselves and using humor to extinguish a burst of irritation or anger.  Sometimes I’m asked how we’ve made it 29 years and still love to be together and have have so much fun.  It’s the timing of a silly comment when the other is upset or angry, it’s looking at the big picture of life, it’s not walking down a tunnel of anger but rather looking to the light.  It’s not taking ourselves too seriously and thinking about others.  Of course we have our serious moments when they are needed but fun and fun loving go a long way in keeping us together for the ages!

PS I’m already trying to figure out where to hide the Creepy Rubber Spider next.

2 thoughts on “Spider Saves Marriage

  1. I love this too. I think of the spider as -ha, I promise I did not intend this pun- as part of the web of connections we weave. A personal shared history that is ours alone. During hard time, a couple’s private jokes remind them of the treads that connect them.


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