Didn’t Get What You Wanted?

The rush to the Christmas finish line!  You did everything that you were supposed to do!  You shopped for months, baked for weeks, hosted parties, gave gifts to all of your friends, and late at night you arranged the gifts under the tree just so the perfect photo could be taken of your handiwork!  Then Christmas morning arrived.  Everyone so incredibly happy and at the end of the day, you’re wondering what happened.

Let Down.  The kids didn’t have the right reaction.  You didn’t get a single gift on your list.  You prepared a fabulous meal that was scarfed down and they all left the table to a) watch a movie b) play with their new toys or c) get acquainted with the new video game.  You look at your once gorgeous tree now dried out with needles everywhere, the gifts are gone, and there’s packaging strewn all over the room and you feel all alone and disappointed.

Let down doesn’t just happen during the holidays.  It happens anytime that your expectations aren’t met.  It’s your job, your relationships, your volunteer life.  It happens to all of us.  Even when we know better, it still happens.

Want to avoid the let down?

  • Communicate what you want.
  • Tell them what you expect.
  • Tell them directly, they can’t read your mind!
  • Give them the benefit of time – nothing last-minute.
  •  Most importantly, be realistic!

All of this should be done in a gentle, loving way.  You don’t need to demand it, you simply need to ask for it.  You just need to tell them what you desire.

My philosophy has always been that the answer is for sure NO if you never ask.

Oh, you want to be surprised by your gift giver?  Give them a list of a few things you want and let them decide what to give you from the list!

If you wanted to play board games after dinner, you must let everyone know your intentions BEFORE DINNER!!

At work, if you expect your colleague to get that report to you, ask for it.  If you want to take lunch at a certain time, ask if you can be accommodated.  If you didn’t get that raise you expected, ask what you can do to make it happen.

Picture yourself next year at this time.  You told everyone what you expected, it reasonably happened, and when you looked at that Christmas Tree at the end of the night, somehow it didn’t seem so dried out and bare.  Instead, it provided memories of a marvelous day filled with love, laughter, and just want you wanted!

Merry Christmas from Positively Shelle!

PS Ask with a smile on your face and a song in your heart.


2 thoughts on “Didn’t Get What You Wanted?

  1. How many marriages have gone up in smoke because one or the other thought, “If you really loved me, you’d know?” Failing to make our wishes or needs or desires known is a guarantee that they will never appear. It’s not always easy to let people know what you long for, wish for, or truly need. It admits a degree of vulnerability to speak some of those things aloud. However, the joy in doing so is twofold: there’s always the chance you’ll get what you want, and you’ve been honest, not only with others, but with yourself. We don’t always get what we want, in the way that we want it, but being honest with yourself and others leaves you with a clean heart and a peace you can’t buy with any gift certificate.


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